– [Narrator] Thank you for watching and for a full transcript visit www.fun4thedisabled.com. We hope you enjoy! When joining us for this video you need to take some precautions as your health and safety are the most important. To avoid any injury or harm, you need to check your health with your doctor before exercising. By performing any fitness exercises without supervision, like with this video, you are performing them at your own risk. See a fitness professional to give you advice on your exercise form. Strategy for Access Foundation NFP and SPIRIT Club will not be responsible or liable for any injury or harm you sustain as a result of this video.
-[Kelly] Hello SPIRIT Club! My name is Kelly. I’m a productivity and mindset coach and your positive mindset instructor today. Before we get started, I’d look to encourage you to prepare your mind for this class, just like you would stretch before an exercise class. Take the next minute to close your door, put your phone on silent, and reduce distractions as much as possible. I want you to be fully present for the next 30 minutes. If there’s something that is taking up space in your mind like some task that you need to complete later or somebody you need to call, something you need to do make sure that you write it down, put it on a sticky note or a reminder in your phone so that you can go back to it later. And so that you’re not distracted during this class.
If you printed out the mindset mosaic worksheet go ahead and grab it now. If you haven’t downloaded that there’s a download button where you access this class, you can take a look at the worksheet and all that we’re gonna be doing today. If you wanna color along with us, make sure you have your colored pencils or markers or crayons or whatever you’re using to color with today. If you don’t have the worksheet handy that’s perfectly okay. Just make sure you have a pen and a notebook or a journal so that you can do some of the journaling prompts and other exercises that we’ll be doing today. I’m gonna share my screen so that you can see the mindset mosaic worksheet and we’ll go over it really quickly.
Okay, so we have the worksheet here. You can see all the different sides of this multifaceted multi-sided die. It is full of different ways that we can practice our mindset, not just today, but throughout the week. So there are a lot of different types of ways to practice mindset. We’ll go through a couple of those today in particular, but we will also be focusing in later classes about different types of ways to improve your positive mindset.
So as we go throughout the class if you notice that we are talking about asking for support or setting boundaries which are two of the topics we will be covering today, you can go ahead and color that in. We always do some journaling and some breathing. And of course we want to practice as many of these as possible throughout the week. No pressure to do all of it in one day. Just keep it somewhere like in your journal or by your bed, or on your desk at work. And so that you can keep this in the front of your mind and keep mindset in the front of your mind.
Okay, so that’s our way that we make mindset work fun. We don’t want it to feel like work because really it can be a fun practice to incorporate all of these different parts of mindset work into our daily routines. We’re going to start today with some deep breathing just to get grounded, and centered, and focused so that we can participate fully in today’s class. Find a comfortable seated position, and either close your eyes or lower your gaze to the floor. Whichever is more comfortable for you. We’re going to take a few deep breaths at your own pace inhaling and exhaling as slowly and deeply as is comfortable for you.
(inhales deeply) (exhales sharply)
Visualize that you’re breathing in positivity (inhales deeply) and breathing out negativity. (exhales sharply)
Breathing in peace and contentment, (inhales deeply) and breathing out stress and worry. (exhales sharply) Take one more deep breath in, (inhales deeply) and out. (exhales sharply)
All right, you can open your eyes. Next we’re going to do a mindset journaling check in, kind of take the temperature of where we are with our mindset right now as we start class. So the first question that we’re going to answer in our journal or on the back of your worksheet wherever you are taking notes today, the first question is how would you rate your mindset right now on a scale of zero to 10, with zero being extremely negative, five being neutral right there in the middle, and 10 being extremely positive. How would you rate your mindset right now on the scale of zero to 10? And remember, there’s no wrong answer to this question or any of the journal prompts today. And if you would like to share your response to this prompt or any of the other ones go ahead and type it in the chat box. I’d love to see your answers.
All right, using that same scale of zero to 10, how would you rate your mindset this week as a whole? Again, if you wanna share your response, go right ahead, zero to 10 for your mindset this week. Okay, so we’re going to reflect on both internal and external factors that contributed to your mindset this week, whether it was a zero, a three, a seven, a 10, any number in between, we want to know what caused that number, so that if it’s a low number, we can try to avoid some of those things that impacted us negatively. And if it’s a high number, then we can keep doing the things that helped us to maintain a positive mindset this week. So the first question is what has happened in your life that made it easy to have a positive mindset this week? We’re focusing on the external factors right now. What are things that have happened to you that made it easy to maintain a positive mindset this week? And while you’re thinking about that, I’ll put on our ocean surf white noise.
(ocean waves crashing)
Okay, now let’s answer a very similar question. What has happened in our life that made it difficult to have a positive mindset this week? Almost the same question, but one key difference is that what has happened externally? What situations have you found yourself in that made it difficult to have a positive mindset this week? I’ll give you a moment to answer that in your journal. (ocean waves crashing)
Okay, switching gears just a little bit. What did you actively do to cultivate a positive mindset this week? Now we’re switching gears, focusing on the internal factors, what you had control over, not the situations you found yourself in or what somebody else said to you, but what you actively did to take care of yourself and to cultivate that positive mindset this week? (ocean waves crashing) All right, and what did you actively do, again, still internal factors. What did you actively do to prevent yourself from having a positive mindset this week? How did you get in your own way and prevent yourself from a positive mindset this week? Take another moment in your journal and then we’ll talk more about today’s mindset topic. (ocean waves crashing)
Okay, so we’re gonna talk about relationships today. Maintaining and building positive relationships because we know that any type of relationship, any interaction we have with other people can have an impact on us, whether we want it to or not. So the people that we surround ourselves with are really, really important. So I will help you bring about the positive relationships that are important to you and maybe let go of some of the ones that are not really serving you. Relationships are an important part of our wellbeing because, well, we can’t exist in a bubble. (Kelly chuckles) Humans are a social species and we depend on and interact with other people every single day, whether it’s in person, on the phone, or in a Zoom class like this. And although many of you are probably pretty independent, none of us can do everything on our own. Even the type A people who want to try to do everything their way all the time. I’m one of them, so I’m not knocking anybody. We still need help at times.
And we still have others who influence us in both positive and negative ways. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It means that we have others to help us when we need that help. In fact, our desire to form social connections gives us countless opportunities to lean on others and to boost our mindset when we are feeling down, when we’re getting in our own head, others can bring us out of that. There’s probably at least one person you can think of immediately that fits that description. I know moms and best friends are usually at the top of the list for those. (Kelly chuckles) And maintaining healthy and meaningful relationships requires us to set appropriate boundaries and ask for support. So those are the two parts of the mindset mosaic that we are focusing on today, setting boundaries and asking for support because those are two sides of the same coin that help us establish healthy relationships. Setting boundaries keeps the positivity in and the negativity out basically.
A boundary is just a line that you draw in the sand or in your mind, that keeps things separate for whatever reason. Unfortunately, some people just get under our skin. They bring out the worst in us. Not everybody is a good influence on us. And with over seven billion extremely diverse people in the world, it can be expected that we won’t get along with everybody all of the time. It’s okay to establish boundaries to protect yourself, just like a king puts up a wall to protect his kingdom. And for our next exercise, we’re going to do just that. So in your journal or notebook, or on the other side of your mindset mosaic worksheet, draw a line in the middle of your page to symbolize a wall. Now draw yourself on one side of that wall. Either side, doesn’t matter which, and stick figures are perfectly okay.
On the other side of the wall, write the names of the people who you want to keep away from your positive energy. You’re making that separation. You’re visibly separating you, and your positivity on one side from the people who may not be the best influence as far as positive thinking, positive mindset, and positive energy are concerned. For example, maybe your brother always gets on your nerves or your coworker is negative about everything. Let’s keep them at arms length, and look for common themes that may help you recognize negative influences more quickly in the future. Like maybe your in-laws are all in the same category on the other side of that wall, or there’s a certain group of friends that seems to all fit in that same category there. Look for those types of themes. I’d also like to note that these do not have to be permanent boundaries, unless it’s a truly toxic relationship, you can coexist with people on the other side of the wall. The goal is to identify people who have the most significant impact on your mindset so that you can interact with them less often and protect your energy. I’ll give you a moment to think of who those people are, write those names on the opposite side of the wall as you are. (ocean waves crashing)
Okay, now let’s consider when it is appropriate to set boundaries. In your journal or wherever you’re writing things down today answer the following questions. When are you most likely to need to set boundaries? When are you most likely to need to set boundaries? You can refer to the names on the other side of the wall that you just wrote down to get started. Think about the situations that you encounter those people, when you’re around them. If it’s family, maybe it’s always family gatherings, or if it’s co workers, it’s obviously usually at your workplace.
So for example, it might be necessary to set a boundary with your gossipy coworker. Somebody who’s always making up rumors and spreading negative lies around the workplace, just generally not a good influence. You wanna set that boundary so that you can focus on your job, and not feel irritated or upset at the end of your shift ’cause that absolutely impacts your mindset there. I’ll give you a moment to think of situations like that. (ocean waves crashing)
Our next question is what makes it difficult to set boundaries? For example something that might make it difficult to establish a boundary, even when you realize that, for example, with your coworker that is always gossiping, and you wanna set a boundary there, what actually makes it difficult? Because you realize that it would be better for you and for your mindset to have that boundary in place so that it doesn’t affect you as much. But that doesn’t always mean that it’s easy. A really common reason is that you might be afraid of upsetting the other person. If you have that conversation or if you are not necessarily having a conversation, and you’re just distancing yourself without much warning you could be worried that you’ll lose that connection with the person entirely, if you pull away just a little bit. Both of those things are possible.
It’s not unrealistic to expect that somebody might be upset by you setting a boundary like that, or that they might be offended and they might pull away and you might not have a strong of a connection, but that’s why it’s important to realize and to really decide for yourself if it is important for you to set that boundary. Because when you know why it’s important to you it makes it easier to get past those worries because the end result is something that you truly care about, that’s more important to you, than the other person being upset about something that is really in both of your best interest. I’ll give you a moment to think about that. Again, the question is what makes it difficult to set boundaries? (ocean waves crashing)
I mentioned a moment ago that maintaining healthy and meaningful relationships also requires us to ask for support. Although there are some people that we want to keep out of our kingdom on the outside the wall, there are other people we want to keep with us on the inside. These are the people who understand us. They care for us. They fill our lives with positivity. They are often our mentors, our coaches, teachers, our favorite cousins and our best friends. So on the side of the wall where you drew yourself, write the names of the people that you want to keep close to you. Those who are positive influences. Now these are probably really easy people to name because they’re the people that you spend a lot of time with, that always make you smile. There’s a lot of positive memories with them. So take a moment to write down the names of the people that you want on your side of the wall. (ocean waves crashing)
Now let’s consider when we are most likely to need support. In your journal, answer the following questions. When are you most likely to need support? And who can help you in each of these situations? When are you most likely to need support? And who can help you in each of these situations? For example, if you are struggling with a college class then a professor or a student advisor or a trusted classmate might be able to help you. It’s important to recognize when you need some support, but it’s equally important to know who you can ask for that type of support because you’re working so hard to build and maintain these positive relationships. You want to make sure that you know who to reach out to for what particular problem you have when you have it so that you can solve that problem more quickly. All right, I’ll give you a moment to think about that.
When are you most likely to need support? And who can help you in each of these situations? (ocean waves crashing) The next questions that we’re going to answer in our journal are what makes it difficult to ask for help? And how can you overcome that difficulty? What makes it difficult to ask for help? And how can you overcome that difficulty? For example, your pride might prevent you from asking for help because you don’t wanna appear weak and that’s important to you. Or you haven’t talked to anyone about the thing that you need help with, and it’s scary to say it out loud for the first time. Those are both pretty normal common responses, but they’re not something that you can’t get past. You could overcome these challenges by writing it down before saying it out loud that might make you more comfortable, feel free to use your journal for that.
Or talking to somebody who always empowers you not somebody who judges you or makes you feel weak because they are most likely to continue with the way that they have empowered you in the past. Even if you’re saying something that is difficult for you. So I’ll give you a moment to answer that. Again, what makes it difficult to ask for help? And how can you overcome that difficulty? (ocean waves crashing) Okay, as a recap of positive relationships. First, we identified the people and the situations where boundaries are necessary. Then we identified the situations where it’s necessary to ask for help. And finally, we identified the people who can help us in those situations. Are there any questions before we move on? Feel free to put them in the chat.
Okay, so make sure you did color in both of those two triangles on your mindset mosaic worksheet, asking for help and setting boundaries. And of course we’ve done some breathing and some journaling so far, and now we’re moving on to our next exercise, which is called level up. And the concept of leveling up allows us to begin to apply the strategies that you’ve learned today in a very easy manageable way, starting out what we’ll call level one. For example, level one for setting boundaries might be working on setting a boundary with one person, like your brother who gets on your nerves. Don’t respond to texts where he’s clearly trying to bother you, and maybe mute his posts on Facebook, so you don’t constantly get alerts every time he posts something. That helps you to start to set a boundary even though it’s just with one person, and it’s just on your technology and your social media. It’s definitely a start that’s level one. In your journal, write what would be your level one for either setting boundaries or asking for help, or maybe a combination of the two. Where do you think you can get started this week with making a little bit of progress related to your positive relationships? I’ll give you a second for that. (ocean waves crashing)
So now that you have level one figured out where you wanna start, when you feel comfortable with that practice, leveling up means that you can increase the frequency or the difficulty just a little bit. So level two is just a small step above level one. For example, when you’re in a group setting for the holidays, you can begin to practice setting boundaries with groups of people who maybe talk about others or that always impact your mindset in some way that keeps you from being positive, because those are those external factors that we talked about in the beginning that you might find yourself in situations that don’t necessarily promote positivity, but what you can and do referring to the internal factors is that you can set boundaries.
You can ask for help when you need it. Those are the kinds of things that we’re talking about when we’re discussing internal and external factors, is using these skills and acknowledging what kind of situations we find ourselves in. One way that you could start to level up in that situation. When you find yourself in a group setting with a group of people who aren’t necessarily the best match for your positive mindset, is that you could plan to arrive late to the party or leave early, whatever you need to do to avoid those negative situations. This could be something that you decide to do in a few days, a few weeks, even a few months from now. There’s no real timeframe for when you continue to level up or how many levels there are. It’s just a way for you to kind of keep track of the progress that you’re making, and know what the next step is so that you don’t get stuck. And it’s important to be realistic because these small incremental changes are actually what helps you build successful routines, just become a part of your daily life, so that you can use these mindset practices all the time without even thinking about it.
Okay, so as today’s class comes to a close, let’s do one more mindset journaling check in. Now that we have learned all about maintaining positive relationships. You can answer this question in your journal or of course typed in the chat box, if you want to. What is one strategy that you learn today that you can use over the next week to maintain a positive mindset? What’s one strategy you learn today that you can use over the week to maintain a positive mindset? This could be something you identified as your level one or it could be something entirely different. I’ll give you just a moment to reflect on that question. (ocean waves crashing)
And for one last time today, how would you rate your mindset right now on a scale of zero to 10? How would you rate your mindset right now on a scale of zero to 10? I’m curious to know how learning about these different mindset practices has impacted your mindset for today. Hopefully the number went up, that’s the goal of these classes, and hopefully the more that you do, the more it will continue to go up and stay up, and you’ll be close to a 10 as much as possible. All right, so just one more moment to think about how you would rate your mindset right now, scale of zero to 10.
All right, and we’re going to end today’s class with one more deep breath in, (inhales deeply) and out. (exhales sharply) Thank you for joining me for today’s positive mindset class. Be well.