Purchase a physical copy of Tell Me About Sex, Grandma here: https://www.dottirpress.com/tell-me-about-sex-grandma
Thank you for watching, and for a full transcript, visit www.fun4thedisabled.com. We hope you enjoy!
Hey all, it’s Fannie inviting you to read with me to understand dynamics of sex and positivity. It’s good to know your body. So, we’re proud to present a book to share some questions and teach about consent. Fun4TheDisabled is happy to present today’s book, ‘Tell Me About Sex, Grandma,’ written and illustrated by Anastasia Higginbotham. And now, here is our reader for today, Whitney Hill.
‘Tell Me About Sex, Grandma.’ Ordinary, terrible things. I made this book for kids who grew up in a culture that is obsessed with sex and hiding it from them. And who wants to know what the big deal is? Too often, kids learn that sex is outside of them. Something that happens in puberty, in love, or in marriage. Too often, sex is presented as a threat of pregnancy, disease, abandonment and violence. Too often kids learn about sex from porn. But we could give children permission to awaken to their own sexual energy from its very first flutter and study that instead. We could offer sex education for boys that’s no different than what we offer girls and includes all between and beyond girl and boy who demand better words, intersex, transgender, non-conforming. Words that can change and evolve, and that everyone can learn if they try. Every child deserves a place. That is where it’s safe to talk about danger, where they can ask questions in an atmosphere of love and ease, and where they can get answers that do no harm, but to see and embrace them as they are.
When I think of that wise, safe, accepting authority, I see a grandma like the one in the book. Many of us do not have a grandmother we could talk to about sex. But I imagine a world where old women command the utmost respect, where even young children are entrusted with that knowledge of authority over their own bodies and power. That is the world I want to be a part of shaping with love, and trust, Anastasia. ‘Tell Me About Sex, Grandma,’ written and illustrated by Anastasia Higginbotham. For Bono, who knows what sex is and what it isn’t, and for Susan and Sharon, we are healers. S-E-X. Sex is everywhere. It is also hidden. Knowing where to look when you want to find answers is key. Tell Me About Sex, Grandma. Curiosity about sex is your birthright. It’s in your nature to want to know. Well, what do you wanna know? Where you come from? what you’re made of? What sex is and what it isn’t? And what’s so bad about it? Who says sex is bad? I’m not supposed to see it, to know it, or to do it.
Like a swear or a secret. So, it must be bad. Sex is already a part of you. You’re born with it. It’s a grown-up thing. So, it’s coffee. Nobody cares if I see coffee. Sex is private. Just tell me! Actually, wait. Let me get ready. OK. I’m ready. Tell me. It’s a thing with bodies. Moving so it feels good, by yourself or with someone. How do I know how to move? The feelings tell you. Where will I feel them? Here mostly. The feelings are your sexuality. Does sex always make a baby? No, thank goodness. Why ‘thank goodness?’ Oh, did I say that out loud? The feelings change as you grow up. They grow up with you. Sex is an energy, an action, a conversation, a revelation, a sudden burst of understanding or discovery. Learning about sex is learning about yourself. I have a sex thing I do in private. Moving so it feels good. Is that OK? Yes, it is OK, and best only to do only in private. Sexuality is something you discover as you go along. How you feel, what you like, and who you like. It belongs to no one else but you.
No one else is allowed to boss you into sex or take it from you without your permission. You get to choose whether to do it. Same goes for everyone. You choose for you, they choose for them. More? No thanks. But why don’t adults want kids to know about sex? Our job is to protect you. From sex? From growing up too fast and from people who don’t follow the rules. It is never OK for an adult to choose to have sex with a child, even if they love and take care of you. What rules? No sex with anyone unless they say they want to, and no sex ever with kids. It’s harmful, it’s against the law, and anyone who tells you different is lying. Once those rules are respected, a person’s sexuality is no one else’s business. Your sexuality is yours alone. Yours to discover, yours to treasure, yours to share if you choose. You want me to give you a push on the swing? Yes. High? Yes. Got your shoes on? Yes. Cool. Let’s go. Grandma. What did you want to be when you were little? Big! Why? What do you want?
I want to save the oceans. I want light-up pants. I want a dolphin who only I understand what she is saying. Wow. What does your dolphin say to you? She says thank you for my ocean. May your choices about sex always be yours to make, whether or not you ever decide to do it. The end! Activities. Wanna guess the most important part of sex? The choosing part. Read this next part out loud. I am the one and only top boss in charge decider about sex in my life for my whole life. Everyone else is the boss of themself too. When there’s a choice to make, any choice at all, it helps to know what you want. Do you get a feeling of yes, no? Look here. What about any of these images? You’re already making choices all the time about what you like and what you want. You know a lot. When your voice can’t find your words, pay attention to your body. Tight fists, stomach twist. No way I’m getting on that thing. Read your own and other people’s body language, animals’ too. Being still, breathing easy, I’m content to just be here right now.
Go to bed. But…? It’s bedtime. Line up. But…? Recess is over. Try one bite. But…? Do it. It’s always good to know what you want. What about when there is no choice? It’s always good to know what you want, even when you may not get it. Sex is powerful. So, are you. Be aware, there is an abyss of images out there that can distort and even ruin your experience of learning about sex – (an abyss is a bottomless pit). Those aren’t the answers you’re looking for, Move along. Choose a grown-up who will help you answer your questions safely. In the meantime, and for all time, be safe, be you, be loved. Love note from the author, “Dear reader, do you know that even with no talking, no words, you can still understand what a person wants, you or someone else? But only if you are trying to understand. Only if you listen with your whole body. Like thunder, water, lava, and the moon – sex is nature. Like nature, it deserves respect. Let it be, don’t trash it up. Notice things, bless your sex. Bless those with whom you may one day want to share it with.
May you always have that choice. May your sex speak truly of all you desire and all you want to give.” Love AH. The end!
Thank you for watching ‘Tell Me About Sex, Grandma’, written and illustrated by Anastasia Higginbotham. Life is an experience and it’s OK to be curious. It’s not naughty wanting to know about sex and your body, so never be ashamed of it and learn about it. And know consent is key and it doesn’t look the same for everybody. So, respect others and their decisions about sex. That’s the first step to learning what’s next.